I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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