apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
