I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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