Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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