I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
