Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
