ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
