I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
