just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
