did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
