I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
