Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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