Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
