Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
