yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
