i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
