Tell her she can't have a vagina
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
