I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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