Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
