Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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