Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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