i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
