Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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