five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
