I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Randomize
