There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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