She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
