the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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