Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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