i wish peter jackson would direct porn
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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