I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
