youre lurking in front of me
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
