on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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