Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
