In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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