i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
