Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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