That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
