i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
