bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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