i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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