Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
