the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I need to calm my uterus...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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