Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
