how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
