You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I lost the right to judge tonight
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
