Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
