I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
