Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Bring me that man meat
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
