No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
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